I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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