First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
