you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So squirting runs in the family.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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