I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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