he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
