Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize