i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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