2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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