Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
