he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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