Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
