This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
