Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
worst night to have a conscience
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
