did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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