My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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