I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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