dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
