forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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