I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
