First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
