no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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