i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Still dying that you shit outside
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
