i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
