I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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