Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
