Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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