I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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