Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
