11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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