now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
