zippers are such a cool invention
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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