can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
