Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
