Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
