k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
