She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
