whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
