ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
