ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
