I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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