Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
