i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
