Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize