i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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