the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize