I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
