if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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