I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
