im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
pray to the hookup gods
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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