while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
