I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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