didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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