So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
His hands were made for my vagina.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
