On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
